Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
