I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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