Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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