That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
