I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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