she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
