New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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