why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
