I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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