____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
