I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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