it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
