y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
