Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
