This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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