So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
