Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize