Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
