how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
