Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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