ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
