Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need water and some morals
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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