If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
