Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
