I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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