The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
