either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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