he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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