im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
