A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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