I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
