Porn is love you can see.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
