YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize