This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
...so i touched it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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