My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize