don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
