Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
