I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
