i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i dont even know how to be here
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
