and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
