I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
