We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't turn off my feet"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize