My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
