it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
