2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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