Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
