Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
