if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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