I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
