So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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