No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
