so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize