You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
