I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
