I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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