He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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