garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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