If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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