I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
