I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
