I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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