I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize