Don't make out with my wife yet
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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