you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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