Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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