We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
