dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
